Hi, my name is what?

I wrote this a while ago but in light of finding a new Aussie bud with the same name I'd repost it.

CORALIE'S KICK ASS, MAN!

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When I was a kid I hated my name. It's really one of those names that you don't hear very often, and when you are a small child that totally sucks. Why couldn't I be a Stephanie or a Heather like 12 other girls in my glass?

Now, its the total opposite. I love my name. There's only one me, and maybe 239 people with my name in the entire world. Of course, it'd be better if there was just me and only me, because I rock the name, but I guess I can share it. out of that 239 only 22 spell it the same way as me.

I wanted to by my name dot com a few years back, but it was already taken by french perverts.
Oui Oui!

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Reasons why i totally rock and you should totally read my blog all the time. every day. Checking it 5x a day. Like my bitch. Yeah. I said it. That's right, whachoo gonna do about it?

I make/grow my own lavendar and essential oils.


After a long day of planet searching,


I like to give 100% blowjobs & pure anal


on my own island


with my freaky looking dolls watching


4ever!


nuda!


I can give you easy access to the super-morzine bubble.


I am *tight* with Johnny Depps girlfriend.


People make web pages to tell me happy birthday and that i have a beautiful life.


JUST AN FYI THAT IS TOTALLY WORTHY OF THE CAPSLOCK KEY.
It is totally illegal to make cute tops, name them after me, and then not send me one. either color is fine, size large.


Same goes for tiaras. Especially tiaras.

Can you feel the love and excitement?

My kids and my friends kid obviously looooooooooved the little halloween parade and trick or treat we took. They look soooooooooo enthused. There was fun to be had, but it required an hour of crap first. Last year when we went to this event we were late. We actually didn't know it was happening, we were driving home and drove down the main drag and saw all these kids trick or treating, so we booted it home and I dressed the kids in the car and we got there at the tail end of it all. That is the smart way to do it, because there was a 5 minute line at each trick or treat 'site' (each store on the main strip). Last year we walked right up to each store and got a handful of candy for each kid, because we were the last and there was no one left after us.

The best part this year was the giant Sealy sheep at the bed store. Those sheep are so freaking cute, I've wanted those sheep slippers for a couple years now, but we have a fairly new bed and so do the kids, and I can't go buy a new mattress just for some slippers. HotNuts* would kick my ass.



Can you see my new purse? It is so cute, I heart it.

I love our little town because of all the events that go on like this. We really live in a big city, but we live in a small town within a big city. It's kind of hard to explain. It's actually quite the little area for filming. Well, all of Vancouver is, but our town especially. I don't know if you remember this commercial, it hasn't been seen for the past 2-3 Christmases, but they filmed it here in the summer of 97 I believe? The kid is reading with his grandpa and then gets whisked away on a train through a Christmas town type thing? That was our town. In the summer. It was pretty cool.

Anyway, they film a tv series here, can you tell which one?







Not that you're going to get a prize for guessing correctly or anything.

Our pumpkins:



*HotNuts is the mans new nickname because last Saturday we were invited over to Kevin and Alison's for dinner. I wanted to make some homemade salsa but didn't want to risk chopping the jalapenos and getting it in my still tender eyeballs. I asked the man to do it but said BE SURE TO WASH YOUR HANDS WELL WHEN YOU ARE DONE. Did he listen to me? Noooooooooooooooooooooope. He finished in a hurry because he had to pee badly. While he was in the bathroom I threw the salsa together and then we left. On the way over there he screams 'AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH MY NUTS ARE ON FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' I seriously had no idea men fondled their testicles as well while they are peeing, but really, is anyone surprised?

Freaking blogger. Why does it give you the option of setting your pics to large when you upload, only to have it screw up the template.

To think I was just talking about quitting...again...

Candy Cigarettes

You're a total badass, but you don't taste very good.

What Kind of Candy Are You?

I think of a million things to write about. When I get here I can never remember what they are.

I have to go back for another checkup at the end of this week, I'm eager to see what my vision is. Mainly because I'm not really convinced, is my vision improving or is my brain getting more used to seeing further things blurry.

Recovering Four Eyes

I was under the influence of "eyedrops" during the writing of this post, on October 22nd, and for some reason thought starting a new blog for my post Dorkalie life would be appropriate. I don't know why, I'll always be Dorkalie at heart, so it will turn into my cooking blog that I've wanted to start for a while.

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Dorkalie no more, those days are gone! I thought I'd find a cool new template I liked, but didn't want to lose the 'dorkalie' site, so I thought I'd just start fresh. If you have dorkalie in your faves, please update your links so you don't miss out on any of my hilarious ramblings and witty commentary. (mmmhmmmmm....)

As of the last post at Dorkalie, I was anxiously awaiting my appointment time. My only fear at this time, being hit by a bus. My friend Jen comes with me, I drive down, she drives back, and is constantly asking me if I'm high because I'm so giddy. HIGH ON LIFE, BABY!On our way through the parking garage we see this:




The guys running it reminded us a little of the 'valet drivers' in Ferris Beuhlers Day Off. No, thank you!

The procedure itself was quick and relatively easy, the hardest part was staying focused on the red light while under the influence of prescribed narcotics.

Afterwards I had to lay down with my eyes closed for 20 minutes and we were on our way home. It was very blurry, the doc said it would be less blurry the next day. I spent most of it on the couch with my eyes closed, sneaking peaks at things. My eyes were extremely irritated, I looked like an extra in a Cheech and Chong flick:



Friday morning things were still quite blurry if they were far, I could see things extremely clear if it was 4" in front of my face. I was going through eye drops like crazy. I had to be back downtown for a 24 hour follow up. I got these bitchen sunglasses that I had to wear outside, hence the current title...



At the appt. the doctor said because my prescription was so strong it could take a couple days up to a week for my vision to be completely clear, and right now it's like I'm nearsighted. With astigmatism, it's like being nearsighted and farsighted because things are blurry close and at a distance. So it was definitely an improvement to see anything clearly without my glasses at all.

I'm almost at 48 hours post-op and today is a huge improvement from yesterday.

This morning I was sitting on the couch with my knees bent, and just staring at the snowflake pattern on my pajama pants because it was so clear. I keep staring at my hands, if you didn't know I just had this surgery you would probably think I was on an acid trip. When Supergirl or Cman come close to me I just stare at their faces, not that I couldn't see them before, I can't describe it, it's a whole new feeling.

Recently someone told me of a quote they had heard, 'if nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies.' It was one of those things that someone said and it sticks in your hread.

This morning I was on my patio with Chad having a coffee, enjoying the unusually warm fall morning, and what happens to land on our railing.



I could see this butterfly clearer than I've ever seen any other butterfly, and I had a total deja vu. I think of of deja vu's as a guide in your life. If you have a deja vu, it's the worlds way of telling you you are where you are supposed to be in life. I guess I'm there :)

Happy Birthday, Ms Alexandra!

Did I mention I've been up since 4am?

I can't sleep. During the night Cman woke me up crying "I can't see, I can't see". When you have a kajillion kids over playing in one room something is going to get broken, and on Thanksgiving his lamp broke, so we've been leaving the hall light on for him and turning it out when we go to bed. Apparently that wasn't good enough this time. I crawled into his bed and snuggled with him, and was almost fast asleep when my mind went 'WAIT A MINUTE! IT'S THURSDAY!' and my heart started beating with anticipation. There was no way in hell I was falling back asleep after that.

Cman would not sleep unless I was in there so he's all curled up on the couch. The only sounds right now are his soft snoring and the clicking of the keyboard. He's sleeping with his arms over his head, just like he did so many times as a baby.



There are two reasons I'm a little bit sad today, despite the whole 'dream come true' thing.

1) R, my little Supergirl, she will be the only one in this house with glasses. I know she hates them as much as I do. I can't wait until she can have the surgery done. I'm sure by the time she is old enough it will be no sweat and hopefully by then our extended medical will cover it, or at least a portion. As far as I'm concerned, if this works, it will be the best money I've ever spent, and if R could have it done now I would pay for it before mine, no doubt about it.

2) I'm going to miss the little 'sexy librarian' thing I had going for me. If you're a chick who's worn glasses you're entire life, that's what people are going to say to you, whether you look sexy or not. People think it makes you feel better about wearing glasses. It works.

Maybe I will get that tiny scrip to fix the right eye all the way to 20/20. If I could get cute, sexeh glasses that were totally optional to wear, I wouldn't mind. It's not having the option, and the option being ugly with big frames and costing almost as much as your first born, that I have objection to.

From Dorkalie to Dorkalicious

in 18 minutes flat.

7.5 hours to go!

I'm still not doing his laundry

Even if he does buy me my favorite flowers, and make me laugh with his apology.

This must be how prisoners feel the last week before parole

I had my presurgical consult today for my surgery coming up ON THURSDAY! You may remember my last consult and how I was so nervous after bawling like a baby in front of the Dr. Hottie I started talking all about buttholes. Today wasn't nearly as dismal, if you don't count the fact that I had to drive down East Hastings to get there.

The reason I am going to Lasik Eye CentersCentres instead of Iris now is only a matter of semantics. If I redeem 10 000 Save on Points the surgery is only $1800. Even if I won the $1000 gift certificate from Iris the procedure would still cost $2200. And from looking at the two companies, I can't see how Iris is better than LEC or vice versa, though my consult didn't require nearly as much time in the waiting room at LEC today. Also, most of the Vancouver Canucks have had their eyes done by the same doctor going to do mine, so that's got to count for something.

Anyway, after some eyeball jabbing and 'which one is better, one or two? one or two? two or one? one or two?' I find out what I've known all along, I have fabulously thick corneas that would handle the surgery well. In one week my right eye will be 20/25 without my glasses (the same as it is now with my glasses), and my left eye will be 20/20.

BITCHEN!

Stuff Portrait Friday

One of my favorite blogs lately is Random and Odd. The title attracted me to it because it seems to describe my life, and Stuff Portrait Friday has kept me coming back (along with some funny anecdotes). I wanted to participate for the first time last Friday, but my yearbooks are at the very back of our storage, covered by Christmas decorations, 5 boxes of comics, camping equipment, the canopy for our queen size bed, and a 72 gallon fishtank with stand and canopy. The SPF theme was:

Your Yearbook (any year)
The person who made life hell for you.
The person you still talk to.

Ha! Now that would have made for an interesting entry.

Fortunately participating in SPF this week didn't require accomplishing any hurcurlean feats on my part so I hereby post my first Stuff Portrait Friday entry.

1. The best picture you have ever taken of something/someone

I love taking pics, so I can't narrow it down to just one, and if I did have to choose only one, I'd have to choose two.



I took these two pictures of R and C playing together with my Minolta SLR camera. It was a blazing hot day in late summer of 2003. It was too hot to sit outside so we were inside with the curtains drawn and fans going. The kids were so cranky from the heat so I put some water in the tray to this old seat and I can't remember what they were doing with it precisely that was sooooo hilarious to them. You can't see their faces much in the photos, its a lot of shadows, yet I will never forget their laughter as I watched them quietly from the kitchen with my camera.

2. The best picture of yourself & why you think it is.



I had this picture taken on my 23rd birthday, 7 weeks before our wedding, and I just remember being so incredibly happy and bubbly and feeling great, like the future held endless possibilities. I doubt I will ever again be as pumped on life as I was that day.

3. A favorite picture that someone else took/painted/doodled



This portrait R drew of me earlier this year is still one of the finest pieces of artwork I've ever seen.

For reals?

Warning: Do not click on this link if are a minor or have recently eaten a sandwich.

Dear Cast of CSI: NY

If you would drop the phony NYC accents the show may become slightly more tolerable.

Slightly.

Gary, this mean you, too.

Sincerely,
There's Nothing Else On TV Wednesdays at 10pm
XOXO

Thank god I didn't hit post

I spent an hour or so yesterday writing this post about our lovely Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday night, and was going to post a picture of my husband that he looked particularly sexy in and I couldn't wait to eat him up yum every time I looked at that picture. I wasn't finished the post and saved it as a draft.

Then today happened.

And had today happened around 3 weeks ago he wouldn't have needed that vasectomy as my foot would have done the job just as well.

You just know it's going to happen

Not having to wear glasses was all I ever wanted growing up. I remember asking Santa to bring me better eyes one Christmas, and eating carrots like freaking crazy in hopes it would improve my vision so I could at least get out of the coke bottle glasses and into something that didn't require huge plastic frames to support said giant ass lenses, which would still be protruding a bit from the frame towards my cheeks because they were so motherhumping thick. Nevermind frying ants on the sidewalk with sunlight, I could fry a labrador with those things.

It's T-11 days, and one minute I'm totally stolked and will just blurt out OH MY GOD I AM GOING TO SEE! My eyes are going to totally look like this because I'm just going to want to look at shit. I get to see outside the frame, finally.

Other times I think about it and get scared shitless. What if something goes wrong? What if it doesn't work? What if it makes my vision worse? What if it really is true that if you make that face it will stay like that and I have eyes that look like they are about to pop out of their sockets a la Jennifer Wilbanks forever?

Or worse, what if the surgery is a complete, 100% success, and then I die. If that happens it will probably be from something totally dumb, too, like, my eyes weren't used to being so exposed after being protected for the last 28 or so years and some strange illness/disease that is passed through the cornea, and since they almost take the cornea off I am going to have a very, very sensitive cornea and will be totally suseptible to something of this calliber happening.

I made sure Chad knew if something does happen to me, I want to be turned into major bling.

Good thing I run my own business

because over 90% of the BC teachers voted by secret ballot yesterday to walk out of their jobs tomorrow, defying being legislated back to work by our lovely government who passed an emergency bill to extend their old contract (expired over a year ago) until June 2006 and put a wage freeze in effect. How can we expect our kids to value education when our government doesn't? Hey, Gord-o, I realize you came into a province in dire need of fixing after the last fuck buckets, but really, the one place you should not be pulling funding from, IS EDUCATION! Where would you be without yours? Certainly not the leader of our province. Pull your head out of your ass, man.

Moving on, last night was opening night of HOCKEY SEASON! Although Chad was at work and the game didn't start until 7:30, I did watch it, at least until Lost started. Carson was pissed, and I mean pissed, that he couldn't watch 'his hockey' and had to go to bed at 8pm. I have seriously got to put that kid in hockey. Maybe he will finally take these boots off, then.



Of course, the Canucks kicked some Arizona Ass. Hey Amy, NEENER NEENER NEENER!

Speaking of fashion, I mean really, what do we know about Sienna Miller other than she has a great personal style and took back Jude Law. I heard on ET last night she's an actress. I seriously thought she was a socialite bimbo. Well, I'm sure I'm not far off.

T-minus 15 days

October 20th at 1:30pm I'll have laser beams shot into my eyeballs and they will be cured for good.

Look out, world! I'm going to SEE what you're really like!

Merlot

On a day like today, a glass of merlot is my friend. I've never liked merlot, but a friend left a bottle here a couple of days ago and man, it's not half bad. Does that mean I'm stressed out, or is it because I'm now 30 that merlot tastes good?

Well, there's no point figuring it out since I only have one glass. Damn.